MALICE TOWARDS NONE
Hi guys! if you are born member of the Manjhol Kutumb of Ladori or else somehow related to it, then this story is for you.
Well! if I may take you all on a ride, in a memory lane within or around 'Manjhol House' in my Village Ladori, precisely some 12 years back. The period and the season was the last quarter of the year 2009. One partially cloudy day, while driving down to my work place at Panipat in the quite cold and foggy morning, I received a sudden phone call from Rakesh (Ghoga), who lives in Chandigarh.
Why I say 'sudden' because he was rarely in phono contact with me before that. He is a son of Bhau Chachu at number two and far younger to me. Swift, shrewd, intelligent and with a charming built and personality, he was a beginner as MR in his early struggling life, who has lately been turned businessman dealing in Surgical Instruments, under the brand name of 'UT Surgical'', Chandigarh.
Father of two, he is also an Admin of Manjhol Kutumb's WhatsApp Group. While conversing on phone, he apparently looked in cheerful, jovial mood and in high spirits as if he might have had struck an hidden treasure! Actually, he was in the process of conceiving a rare idea in him, which indeed was wonderful and appreciable too for any of 'Manjhol Kutumbian'!
He informed me that he had since long been thinking of holding or organizing a yearly YAGYA at our ancestral 'Manjhol House' at Ladori in reverence to our Kul Devi Sukrala Mata, on a mutually agreed and fixed date followed by the 'Kangra Dham' on a grand scale where long grain basmati rice bhaat would be served with Moong, Chana Dal, Rajmah, Roungi-ka-Madhra, Chana-Aamchoor ka khatta in order to add a little tinge to spicy food lovers.
He informed me that he had since long been thinking of holding or organizing a yearly YAGYA at our ancestral 'Manjhol House' at Ladori in reverence to our Kul Devi Sukrala Mata, on a mutually agreed and fixed date followed by the 'Kangra Dham' on a grand scale where long grain basmati rice bhaat would be served with Moong, Chana Dal, Rajmah, Roungi-ka-Madhra, Chana-Aamchoor ka khatta in order to add a little tinge to spicy food lovers.
Long cherished Kangra specialty mouthwatering and super tasty Telie Mah would be served by local volunteers in the conventional taur leaf pattals and donas, sitting on the mats in the open, in long rows, for invitees and for the village folks. Imagining all this as superlative, I was then overwhelmed over the idea and spontaneously offered my full support wholeheartedly, without a second thought, in any manner that he wanted.
In the following days, lot of initial thought process and spade work had to be done in order to finalize the nitty-gritty for the YAGYA. Suitable after thought draft suggestions and information relating to Puja were exchanged between me and Rakesh through phones or e-mails in piecemeal.
In the following days, lot of initial thought process and spade work had to be done in order to finalize the nitty-gritty for the YAGYA. Suitable after thought draft suggestions and information relating to Puja were exchanged between me and Rakesh through phones or e-mails in piecemeal.
Neglecting my own essential works and engagements, I had to try my best to locate and contact each and every distant relative for several days, from own as well as Bua's side, prepared a list of phone numbers and addresses and apprised them of the likely program and requested them to make it convenient to attend first such YAGYA at Ladori on 16 May 2010 i.e. on 'Akshay Tritia 'day.
I also prepared a suggested Standard Operative Procedure (SOP) and e-mailed to Rakesh for his guidance outlining the need of required arrangements, priority wise, like maintenance and upkeep of Ladori house, which was/is almost lying in a abandoned state for many years, arrangements for tentage, beddings, utensils, donas, pattals, durries and mats, drums for storage of drinking water, firewood, cleanliness of tracks leading to and from the house, pruning of unwanted hedges and bushes at Lahri (Kitchen Garden), application of chuna-geru, repair of mud walls with Makol and cow dung paste where necessary.
Being elder in age and experience, I assured Rakesh of every help even keeping myself by the level of his shoulder and ready to share responsibility for successful completion of the YAGYA than him. I also suggested to Rakesh that for such an important event, we would need sufficient funds at our disposal to meet the various expenses.
I also prepared a suggested Standard Operative Procedure (SOP) and e-mailed to Rakesh for his guidance outlining the need of required arrangements, priority wise, like maintenance and upkeep of Ladori house, which was/is almost lying in a abandoned state for many years, arrangements for tentage, beddings, utensils, donas, pattals, durries and mats, drums for storage of drinking water, firewood, cleanliness of tracks leading to and from the house, pruning of unwanted hedges and bushes at Lahri (Kitchen Garden), application of chuna-geru, repair of mud walls with Makol and cow dung paste where necessary.
Being elder in age and experience, I assured Rakesh of every help even keeping myself by the level of his shoulder and ready to share responsibility for successful completion of the YAGYA than him. I also suggested to Rakesh that for such an important event, we would need sufficient funds at our disposal to meet the various expenses.
I further told him that by the grace of Almighty, we are presently twelve brothers in all who are all well settled in their lives with their families and if each one of us may contribute Rs. 10,000/-, we would be able to raise funds to the tune of Rs. 1,20,000/- in order to meet the first year's minimum expenditure and balance amount may be kept as fixed deposit for a period of one year for the ensuing years and thus keep on replenishing funds by all of us whenever extra amount would be needed based on minimum requirement. I, therefore, asked Rakesh to inform, at his level, all the brothers, of our decision, and request each one of them to deposit, if possible, with him, Rs. 10,000/-each, for the common cause.
In the meantime, I talked to Jagdish at Ladori on 9 April 2010, who is my classmate and one among the four childhood 'Langoti Yaars' and requested him, rather ordered him, to do me a favor and have the area around our Ladori house cleaned up by engaging few local mazdoors, as there was none except him who could have got this job done prior to the YAGYA on 16 May 2010. He assured me all help. This also shows my deep and genuine concern for the successful completion of the first ever family event proposed by my younger brother.
To start with, first of all, I deposited Rs. 10,000/- in Rakesh's account at SBI Panipat on 9 April 2010. The other day, as usual, I also informed Rakesh that apart from my own family, families of two of my close and immediate relatives would also be coming to Ladori to witness the Puja and that rail reservations and hotel bookings for overnight stay at Nurpur were already made. Hotel bookings at Dharamshala were also made for some members who wanted to visit deep Himachal after the function.
Since we (me and Rama) thought deeply, time and again, that it would be an opportune time for first ever visit to our ancestral home along with Preeti, our daughter-in-law after Vivek's marriage and celebrate her , "First Step In" the Ladori house and also take home the then only and the smallest innocent member of Manjhol Kutumb, Joshua, who co-incidentally had reached the age of Mundan Ceremony.
In the meantime, I talked to Jagdish at Ladori on 9 April 2010, who is my classmate and one among the four childhood 'Langoti Yaars' and requested him, rather ordered him, to do me a favor and have the area around our Ladori house cleaned up by engaging few local mazdoors, as there was none except him who could have got this job done prior to the YAGYA on 16 May 2010. He assured me all help. This also shows my deep and genuine concern for the successful completion of the first ever family event proposed by my younger brother.
To start with, first of all, I deposited Rs. 10,000/- in Rakesh's account at SBI Panipat on 9 April 2010. The other day, as usual, I also informed Rakesh that apart from my own family, families of two of my close and immediate relatives would also be coming to Ladori to witness the Puja and that rail reservations and hotel bookings for overnight stay at Nurpur were already made. Hotel bookings at Dharamshala were also made for some members who wanted to visit deep Himachal after the function.
Since we (me and Rama) thought deeply, time and again, that it would be an opportune time for first ever visit to our ancestral home along with Preeti, our daughter-in-law after Vivek's marriage and celebrate her , "First Step In" the Ladori house and also take home the then only and the smallest innocent member of Manjhol Kutumb, Joshua, who co-incidentally had reached the age of Mundan Ceremony.
We had, therefore, planned the function taking advantage of the likely gathering of all the relatives, from far and near, to have a very very brief mundan ceremony of Joshua early in the morning of 16 May 2010 well before the main function, which would have not taken more than one hour at the most. We required only a small space in a corner of one of the varandas of the house, Joshua's parents, Nana-Nani, Mamu, ourselves, Bua-Fufa and of course a Nai!
While writing the above lines, a sense of guilt feeling is over powering me and reminding me that I am not an outsider but one of the legitimate members of the Manjhol Kutumb. Hence, I need not to explain and take anybody else's permission to come over to my own house and to perform my grandson's mundan ceremony at the mercy of my juniors!
Since Joshua, when small, had already been taken by us to Sukrala Mata at the age of one, where we had few curled locks of hair cut before Mata, it was now to be merely a small and limited family function of total haircut (making Tind, as we say), bathing, new clothes, kajal and kala tika and that was it. No exchange of gifts, no give and take of any sort, no involvement of guests or neighborhood women, no ritual songs, no clapping with eyes shut and the ceremony would have been over within minutes.
We had also decided unanimously within our family to bear whatever expenses relating to 'Dham' on that day, apart from Rs. 10,000/- already paid. It is for the kind information of the PERSON at home, who conveyed me his denial for the mundan ceremony that I had already taken permission of Raju Bhai in this connection who had allowed and assured me that this type of small mundan ceremony could easily be held before the Havan and that there would be no disturbance, whatsoever, to the main function. However, Raju Bhai also kept mum all these years.
Both of us (me and Rama) were enthusiastic and over joyed for taking Vivek, Preeti and Joshua, first time, and enjoy the feel of extreme divine pleasure of our life time seeing naughty Joshua running around, shouting in the house and going upstairs-downstairs, moving from one Pasaari to another, enjoying fiddling with things he would have seen first time in his Dadu's house.
While writing the above lines, a sense of guilt feeling is over powering me and reminding me that I am not an outsider but one of the legitimate members of the Manjhol Kutumb. Hence, I need not to explain and take anybody else's permission to come over to my own house and to perform my grandson's mundan ceremony at the mercy of my juniors!
Since Joshua, when small, had already been taken by us to Sukrala Mata at the age of one, where we had few curled locks of hair cut before Mata, it was now to be merely a small and limited family function of total haircut (making Tind, as we say), bathing, new clothes, kajal and kala tika and that was it. No exchange of gifts, no give and take of any sort, no involvement of guests or neighborhood women, no ritual songs, no clapping with eyes shut and the ceremony would have been over within minutes.
We had also decided unanimously within our family to bear whatever expenses relating to 'Dham' on that day, apart from Rs. 10,000/- already paid. It is for the kind information of the PERSON at home, who conveyed me his denial for the mundan ceremony that I had already taken permission of Raju Bhai in this connection who had allowed and assured me that this type of small mundan ceremony could easily be held before the Havan and that there would be no disturbance, whatsoever, to the main function. However, Raju Bhai also kept mum all these years.
Both of us (me and Rama) were enthusiastic and over joyed for taking Vivek, Preeti and Joshua, first time, and enjoy the feel of extreme divine pleasure of our life time seeing naughty Joshua running around, shouting in the house and going upstairs-downstairs, moving from one Pasaari to another, enjoying fiddling with things he would have seen first time in his Dadu's house.
But he was mercilessly deprived of the privilege of being the then smallest member of Manjhol Kutumb coming home first time and at the same time Manjhol House itself was also deprived of the feel of happiness that it would have enjoyed in the echoes of 'Kilkaris' and the feel of the foot prints of its smallest son!
Composed and sober Preeti would have felt solace and tranquility for a while in our forefather's cool and cozy mud house. But alas! she could not experience all that thrill she deserved and air castles that she had been building in her dreams for going to Ladori were vanished within a twinkle of an eye.
Unaware of myself, suddenly, a thunderbolt struck hard at my head out of the blue when I received yet another phone call from Rakesh conveying me 'firmly' a message that mundan ceremony, as planned by us at Ladori could not be performed on the YAGYA day in order to avoid impending disturbance and delay in the main ritual.
Composed and sober Preeti would have felt solace and tranquility for a while in our forefather's cool and cozy mud house. But alas! she could not experience all that thrill she deserved and air castles that she had been building in her dreams for going to Ladori were vanished within a twinkle of an eye.
Unaware of myself, suddenly, a thunderbolt struck hard at my head out of the blue when I received yet another phone call from Rakesh conveying me 'firmly' a message that mundan ceremony, as planned by us at Ladori could not be performed on the YAGYA day in order to avoid impending disturbance and delay in the main ritual.
In the same breath I was also 'advised' by him that I should take my grandson to one of the mata mandirs around and perform mundan ceremony before I come to Ladori for the YAGYA. What a stern decision! I guessed that he was under pressure of someone else! However, no questions were raised but at the same time all hell broke loose on us.
Now the question was - what to do next? After deep thought and a sigh, visit to Ladori was instantly cancelled under compelling circumstances. Rail and Hotel bookings were also got cancelled at a loss. While feeling regretful for not going to Himachal before my Samadhis, and for all the pain they underwent due to their being so excited for visiting a Himachali village, my sorrow and despair knew no bounds.
In response to the negative attitude of my small brothers at home, at the last moment after having closely involving me in the matter by Rakesh, I hurriedly wrote a detailed letter dated 10 April 2010 to him expressing my deep anguish, grief, sorrow and injured self respect.
In response to the negative attitude of my small brothers at home, at the last moment after having closely involving me in the matter by Rakesh, I hurriedly wrote a detailed letter dated 10 April 2010 to him expressing my deep anguish, grief, sorrow and injured self respect.
Not to talk of one line reply to this letter or a word of 'sorry' till date by anyone though there was sufficient time gap between the date of my writing this letter and the YAGYA, no one from Manjhol Kutumb, ever felt even a slightest concern over my and my family's constant absence at yearly YAGYA at Ladori, which would have naturally been quite conspicuous in itself.
This is the height of disrespect of a senior family member and his family at the hands of our own people irrespective of the fact that he is at No. 2 in the Manjhol Kutumb!
Friends, you may now come back to the real state of 'present' from the memory lane. Splash handful of cool water twice or thrice, stir your face and feel fresh with a deep sigh, with eyes open wide for a second.
This is the height of disrespect of a senior family member and his family at the hands of our own people irrespective of the fact that he is at No. 2 in the Manjhol Kutumb!
Friends, you may now come back to the real state of 'present' from the memory lane. Splash handful of cool water twice or thrice, stir your face and feel fresh with a deep sigh, with eyes open wide for a second.
Now each one of you, like a good and learned judge, may give out your impartial judgement for and against me, and also specifically advise me as to why I should not ask for Rs. 10,000/- to be returned back to me forthwith without any further delay which I deposited with Rakesh some 12 years ago for the above said purpose but under the ambiguous circumstances I and my family was compelled to stay away from the first ever function on 16 May 2010 and thereafter at Ladori.
I am sure that disallowing us for holding our only grandson's first ever function at Ladori, which was close to our hearts, certainly implies inherent ill-will and unfriendliness.
I have, however, malice towards none!
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I have, however, malice towards none!
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